I’ve become much better at listening.
Now, I can sometimes feel the cues from my body, each one guiding me toward a common goal: Light, Rest, Movement, Breath, Nourishment, Surrender.
I understand my body and its needs far better than ever before. Signs that once tried to teach me were suppressed by anxiety, indoctrination, and medication.
Where there was fear, there is now gentle curiosity.
Of course, I still experience anxiety, tension, and fear. But the beauty lies in the fact that these feelings no longer drive the car or make decisions. They are simply visitors, welcome as any other, like love, ease, joy, and bliss.
Now, these visitors also come more often, but not in the way I once envisioned—engaged, with a house, or a specific car, going somewhere or coming back.
The greatest nirvana I’ve ever experienced has always been alone with myself—in moments that blend my favorite things, like cycling fast through the forest or a valley, savoring the food I eat on my journey, or settling into my nightly rituals while imagining all I can accomplish the next day.
My life is at full capacity on my own. With my unique ways of doing things, pursuing what I feel called to do, feeding myself nourishment that makes sense for me, and allowing me to express and engage with my senses and creativity.
I no longer neglect or struggle to fit in movement, nutrition, meditation, or deeper self-connection because they are my saving graces and my northern lights. Without them, I quickly see how I have not permanently escaped any sensation or experience before and how deeply incapable of this we really are.
There is no sudden arrival that changes everything forever. And those signals we so desperately want to rid ourselves of—headaches, insomnia, stress, depression, aches, persistent symptoms, and situations—are all intelligent cues guiding us in better directions.
The body doesn’t make mistakes. This realization is comforting, especially when we sit with it as often as we can.
