Hi welcome to spirituality-

Have you always been generally fit- but now you’re taking it to a new level?

Have you included breathwork and perhaps even meditation?

Are you growing your hair out?

Do you look the part more than play it?

I have nothing against self-betterment, clearly seeing, and connecting to the senses. Perhaps the souring sensation in my stomach when faced with new-age spirituality is not entirely bitterness, though. I try to reason with my instinctual aversion- these practices are for everybody. We want the whole world to connect through spirituality.

But why does it feel so damn performative? And if in being performative- it let’s ego run the show- which means comparison, shame and exclusion. Maybe the shit stinks because I’ve smelled it before-

It’s like mixing together high school and spirituality.

I’ve advocated that we were all made up of the same stuff on here. I have fell for and written poems for every face I’ve ever seen-

Each person is a unique constellation sent directly from source to be here.

But in stepping into my power I have also seen all the people STUCK in their own mud, much like I used to be. But my time in the mud went so fast, in hindsight. I let it eat me alive and rebirth me as the lotus. So why are people still in theirs? Or attached to their shallow perspectives of life when it has a has a shit ton of depth just waiting to be experienced? And we have our own personal depth to explore and witness, too. It is only for us to see. In tapping into intuition and creativity- we are lead into it.

For me, it is endless forests, washing the dishes with God, and touching the part of my soul where there is only darkness and shadow and saying, “I love you. “It is beaches, waves crashing, the smiles of intelligent strangers, and the sound of the rotations in a bicycle.

It is slow and sacred mornings with angels and dragons and words whispered from secrets stored in the back of my mind as a child.

It is god light over here. It is sweet nectar in every bite of food and a soft caress and a tender journey into silent prayer and sleep each night.

My life is a constant love affair. For me, for the pedestrians that cross the street in front of me, for the pages in every book I’ve ever seen.

I’ve burned my life alive many times and I’ve also lead it (and myself) into thriving.

I want to reach and touch the hand of the whole world with this duality. To say- it’s okay to feel crazy.

It’s okay to feel crazy and ugly and foolish. It’s quite alright, actually, we all do it.

I want to knock the motivational speeches out of your hands and onto the floor and to hold the curtain while you undress and truly face yourself- all the depth and color that awaits you. You will love you- and everyone else- when you’re through.

A cold plunge or a round of ecstatic dance has nothing on the earth-shattering heart of a poet.

The deep call for invading my own flesh and bone until I find the long-forgotten source of light.

I’ve now fostered it for years and there’s been tears and twice as much laughter- I’ve been rooting comedy in the expense of my experiences longer than I can remember.

And how can I really help anyone or the world if I begin to forget the sound of my mother’s laughter?

How can I show up in the face of people and be anyone who says something unless it’s from the place of doing the dishes but with the vulnerability of moving to a new city- exposed?

How can I forget or lose touch of all the times it’s been confirmed to be that I’m no freak- I’m actually quite beyond that.

How can I teach or lead in disconnection from my human, my ugly, my honest, my real?

How can I not pull each and everyone of you into my arms and say “I love you, I’m proud of you, good job” because I know how hard it is.

It is brave being alive. And it is brave to show up to everything- even new age spirituality.

Especially new age spirituality.

Because anything existing as an extension of the very values it is in absence of will not be welcoming. The heart of spirituality is in the human and the real. It is in the experience of it all- the day-to-day and the things that feel the least “spiritual” per se.

This is the truth- and the truth is right and simple.

So will this sudden awakening end as it moves into the next trend, sliding under the door and crawling into the night?

And who will stand here after it dismisses itself under that door?

Will all of these worshippers and retreat leaders care at all, anymore?