“I am thriving. My energy is high. My connection is unwavering.
To myself… To Creation.
What’s the difference really?”
“The veil is thin.
I am strong. Resilient. Kind. Compassionate.
I am thriving.
I have learned lesson after lesson. My teachers have often been charming beyond belief- handsome men who have broken my heart. I’m not mad at it- I’ve come to see how I’ve broken my own heart through these karmic experiences- to make it open and to set it free. Jessica Amos says our hearts are never really broken, but our stories are. My journey is beautiful and I’m arriving to the next destination as the Empress.
I already am her. This last lesson- endings… In death was an immediate shift.”
“Beautiful beginnings are disguised as painful endings.”
“Pain is inevitable in life. But suffering does not have to be.”
Yesterday I watched the things meant for me pass through the flames of creation for me. My expectations and ideas of what should be, and one particular face, incarcerated upon approaching the flame.
I jumped from the tower, grimaced, and fell hard.
I didn’t like it much up there, anyway. I just thought I did.
I looked to my left and there was a friend who had come through many fires with me and for me- trying not to laugh.
‘How did we get here again?’
We both shrugged, laughing. We smoked blue iguana walking down to a clearing towards an infinite field of flowers. There I would leave behind my beautiful friend who had come through many intense and painful lessons with me- seeing me deeply all the way through. His sacred path would walk in other directions, at this time. I would also leave behind the many charming lessons I’d experienced, to be transmuted into something transformative for someone else.
With each step I embodied the Empress more and more. With each breath came clarity and inspiration. The soreness of the perceived falls didn’t really hurt that much at all and as far as I could see was rolling hills and lush green opportunities- creating tides around me. I looked down to my feet being hugged softly by the watery moss beneath me and back up to the green pouring all around me. I was sinking gently into the earth beneath my feet- yet I was at the mercy of the intangible waves of creation surrounding me.
This presence and awareness gifted to me; I bow my head, still.
“Thank you for this awareness.”
“For this breath.”
“To be whole and complete, roaming fields of unknown.”
Seasons laid in front of me as if in sections, separated by their respective elements.
I release as I walk through the snow.
Wintering.
Shedding.
Releasing.
Experiencing.
The death of winter.
Then, the ultimate surrender beckons me as I begin to strip down by it’s river.
And I float. And float, float, float into the hands of creation. Resting. Cleansing. Praying. Blissfully floating in the trust, the waters of God love. Hands bathe me from the heavens, assuring me- “all is as it should be.” I have an inner knowing. And I summon and nestle into my darkness so that my eternal light can start glowing. This will lead the way, and if I befriend this darkness, it can stay.
I continued making my way. Down the river. Up through the valleys.
Up and away.