I’ve spent most of my life correcting the pronunciation of my name. Maybe because it has a Portuguese or Spanish pronunciation and I look European or Canadian people assume it’s “Ay-dree-ana” when in reality it’s “AH-dri-ana”.

I grew up with a framed script in the hallway outside my bedroom that had been given to my parents when I was born that says:

Adriana

“The dark one: Latin

a beacon in the night, you provide the strong shoulder to lean on

she is wise and clever, one never knows what will come from her lips next

you guide and direct- a leader

you provide comfort and peace, filled with compassion and understanding

one who stays positive in all she does”

To my best knowledge- my first name originates from Portugal and my last- somewhere in the Ukraine. With both of my parents coming  from European descent- one from the east, Ukraine and Russia and my mother’s family from Holland, in the west, it sparked my curiosity where my first name originated. It has been passed down in my family for generations- it was my great grandmother’s and my mother’s middle name.

I learned that the Dutch invaded Portugal in the 1700’s and realized my name probably showed up in my family around that time.

Now this is where I have sat in meditative reflection of the deep resonance of my name. What is it tied to?

I can’t speak for the lines of ancestors actions- surviving in every stage of humanity- and I can’t begin to perceive the depths of European colonization and how it has morphed and transformed and settled into society still to this day.

But what I realized I can do and always have done is to lead with the part of me that is beyond flesh and bone – interacting with the world soul to soul.

And has this burned me before I knew about energetic barriers and boundaries?

Yes. But it also lead me to making so many unexpected friends and experiences- holding space for so many hearts that are truly all the same.

So this is how I wear my name- like a tribute to where it originated. It is like a mission and reminder to shine light on the hearts that go unseen and to celebrate everyone and everything on this planet, heart wide open.

A name that was taken a long time ago- to be returned at the edge of a safer and more beautiful world when I go.

This name of mine- is one of deep tribute that comes with a call to love, to see, and to liberate our hearts from systems of suffering as much as I can.

I see how it can embody my soul more than just my body-

“Adriana”.

It an honor to have grown into the description of my name that seemed once seemed unfitting for such a gentle, blonde, and fair baby.

Becoming the “dark one”, the wise and fierce leader who truly does take those around her by surprise with her words.

(I would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to my parents for choosing my name but especially for not letting me change it to Rizzo in the 4th grade.)